White Jimmy asked me to contribute an earthquake report for Dude Weather. I refused point blank to have my voice recorded, so sent in a dispatch from the field.
The best part about this is that I got so mad that he used that wack photo. Not because of my fat fucking face, but because that photo is over two years old! I HAVE AN AFRO NOW, JIMMY. Family, I have not been lying to you for the past two years. I don't straighten my hair anymore.