Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Hot Geek Action

I moved in with Special Agent Chen in October of 2007. Ten months and 49 adventures later, the thing I can honestly say I am most proud of is making that trick construct and wear an authentic Star Trek TOS uniform for last weekend's convention in Las Vegas. VC is the most ridiculously down chick in the history of life. She doesn't even like Star Trek! She shakes her head in disbelief (and more than a little pity) whenever I settle in for another round of Trek Dinner Theatre (like, 3 nights out of 7). She has interests that don't involve tv!

I know. That shit doesn't make any sense to me, either.

Whatever. VC also is a fierce seamstress. Plus, she's more than a little crazy. I've never met anyone who could match Julie's or my predilection for wearing stupid handmade costumes, but VC surpasses it. So you know she was my first pick to ride shotgun this trip. After about 10 seconds we invited her brother, BoyChen, whom science will one day prove to be 50% squirrel, to go along/further split the cost of gas.

I should mention several complicating factors here. Neither VC nor BoyChen is currently employed, so taking a last minute trip to Las Vegas was perhaps not the most pecuniarily prudent decision one could make. And I'm not exactly made of money myself, right now. While VC was backpacking through Brazil last month, I incurred about 1K's worth of damage to her convertible. Bitches, I want you to imagine how hard I cried when I had to a) confess and b) pay. None of us was rolling into Sin City with anything approaching freedom pockets. Nevertheless, roll into Sin City we did.

The second thing you should know is that BoyChen doesn't really like any Star Trek incarnation except Voyager. Yeah, you read that right. Get on back to the Delta quadrant with that bullshit, BoyChen. I don't even know how a human brain can be that damaged and still function. Enterprise put me to sleep like a glass of warm milk and a back rub; but Voyager actively irritated the fuck out of me. And before you start accusing me of player-hating on Jeri Ryan (the standard riposte, apparently), know that Seven-of-Nine was one of the few things I liked about that show. You know why? Because she seemed just as irritated with the crew as I was. She stayed looking pissed off.

Speaking of Enterprise, I am legally obligated to say two things: one, Connor Trinneer is the doofus ex-boyfriend of my old roommate, Mia; two, Scott Bakula's autograph costs $109?! American money?! Bitch, please. When Rene Auberjonois, whose changeling bucket you are not fit to rinse, costs $40, you better keep it moving with that $109. Is there that much Quantum Leap goodwill left floating around?

To continue: VC dipped into Hollywood on Friday and picked me up from work. Friday was 08/08/08, if you'll recall, and as VC is Chinese, she was determined to mark it. And be marked by it. So on the way out of town, we stopped on the east side and she got a tattoo of her chop on the back of her neck.* So far, so good.

Also, her tattooist was hot to death. You all know that sleeve tattoos are my kryptonite, so let's just say that I found Man to be quite alluring.

Ink applied, we swerved over to to grab some Jesus Chik'n** and then started our hobo nerd adventure in earnest. They screwed up my order at the place, so I got a sandwich for free! Things were already looking good on this trip! Only I can't eat wheat anymore***, so I had to eat the meat in the backseat with my hands.***. Messy, but satisfying. Just like the days to come.

Stay tuned for Part II: The Wrath of Con (I am so ashamed of that. I swear)

*Pictures to come. You know, when I get all the rest of the pictures sorted out. Keep checking this space


*** developed some weird hyper-sensitivity out of nowhere

****That sounds...terrible


girl6 said...

Are we living parallel lives? The whole superstitious rituals around my brother in Iraq, God taking our mamas back and now the wheat?

You and me. We like this here. *bumps chest with fist peace sign*

I'm so mad I can't have pancakes anymore.

I'm still whoopin your ass for not talking to us at the con.

girl6 said...

Must. Have. Ex. Dirt. On. Connor. Trineer.

It is true that Scott GotBakula's tix were way too precious but honey, me an my sis got a handful of dat in our photo op. Whew! That man's body makes me want to weep.

My bro told me that the only Trek he had in Iraq was Voyager and Enterprise. They became my talisman against stray bullets, roadside bombs and helicopter crashes. I ended up liking them both. I still can't listen to the Enterprise theme song--WTF was up w/that? This ain't Dawson's Creek, muthafuckkas! But I fell in love with Tuvok.

Be proud of "Wrath of Con", baby. This is a shame-free space. Fuck the non-Trekkies.

Adams said...

Unfortunately, I have no hot dirt on Connor Trinneer. Mainly because I [sadly] haven't talked to Mia in a couple of years. Also, when we were living together in London(back in the dawn of time) Connor had just gotten the show and it used to fill her with THE RAGE to think about his success. I tried to leave it alone, chiquita!

I don't want to know about Scott Bakula's hot ass. Stop it! I want my righteous indignation to be pure and uncontaminated! I don't want to have bad thoughts about Scott Bakula!

Too late!

Adams said...

And regarding your being my "sister from another mister," recognize that I'll even fight family when it comes to Jeff Goldblum. Just a heads up. We cool on the rest!

girl6 said...

Aiight. Koo. Heads up? That's where we going. Me and you. Head up over Jizzeff.

You know he's going to be in Law & Order Criminal Intent with my 7Th baby baby daddy, Vincent D'Onofrio.

Adams said...

You coming at me in my own house?! Talking about MY man?! Don't make me have a meeting in the ladies room! I have loved that tall drink of sexy for too long! Too long!