Thursday, August 14, 2008

The Dissident Sister

The fuck is she always smirking for?

There were good 'n' plenty things that I lovedlovedloved about my Star Trek weekend, but before we trip gaily down that road, let me hip you to the things that were emphatically not the business.

1) The dudes [that’s right, this ish happened more than once] who, upon seeing me at the bar with VC (Asian) and Tania (white) felt compelled to exclaim: “Oh My God, you guys are hot like a Benetton ad.” Hey, Chad? I got a message from 1987 here; it wants your fashion mall fetishization back. Also, American Apparel wants to know if you want a job. Thehellouttahere with that tired line, you fucking fool.

2) Nana Visitor (Major Kira): I liked this character better when her name was Ensign Ro and she was giving Captain Picard grief. When the Rene Auberjonois-Armin Shimmerman Q&A ended and whippet-thin Nana sashayed on stage to belt out some Elaine Stritch-style cabaret numbers, I had to 23 skidoo. I wish Major Kira could have been on Vogager, so I could have ignored her more completely.

3) I saw no [black] Uhuras. Not a single one. Other chicks in Uhura’s “Mirror, Mirror” uniform do not count! There was supposed to be a contingent of Uhuras-in-Training at this con, and I didn’t see nary a one, dammit!

4) I had to buy an iron. The Last Chance Motel we stayed in (which had a worrying, crime-y kind of smell on the first night) lied and said they had one, and then failed to produce. Why did I need an iron for the weekend, you ask? To iron a transfer of Hot Leering Spock From “Charlie X” onto my super awesome homemade pencil skirt.That joint was the only concession I was making to constuming for the weekend, so an iron had to be bought.

5) BoyChen’s unauthorized shuttle craft mission to the Four Queens. I had to bust his ass back down to ensign when he returned at 7 in the morning, broke, busted, and disgusted. Ah, the rigors of command.


Admiral Neck said...

For hating Kira, you are officially one of "my people". Easily on the ten worst Trek characters list. Ro, of course, is in top ten best. It's like Ro is Kira's mirror universe counterpart just by dint of her not being crap, even though, yes, Kira had her own mirror counterpart, who was even lamer than she was. She was like a character from Mike Hodges' Flash Gordon who got cut out of the final version. A pox on her lousy Bajoran ass and her "yay being a victim means I don't have to learn manners" nonsense.

girl6 said...

Kira, Kes, Troi, Crusher. Them bitches need slappin'. I'm fucking Kira up for being all up in my Odo.

Ro Laren was cool but Michelle Forbes is so unlikable, I couldn't get past her.

Adams said...

Odo didn't really care about Kira. He stayed trying to talk to Sisko because Avery Brooks reminded him of Benson Dubois.

Clayton Endicott 4ever!!!!!!

I forgot all about the existence of Kes. That's how much of an impression that character made. At least she wasn't B'oring Torres, though.

Dang! All I do is yell at people to get off my Star Trek lawn. I need to calm down.