...if there's anything I can't stand, it's badly written characters on tv shows that could do, should do, so much better. There is truly so much drama in the LBC, family. So whatever, I've added MI-5 to the list of shows I blitz through on dvd, and things were going well -- or at least, they were trippingly along amusingly -- when, inevitably, the hang up of some wack broad rears its ugly head.
The show, obviously, is about Her Majesty's Secret Service. And I wouldn't even be talking about it here, because the show ain't even that great (at least, 4 episodes into season 1 it ain't) except for this super irritating narrative turn wherein the main spook's girlfriend is finally told that he's a spy. She gets all up in her feelings and starts pulling bitch move after bitch move. How did this trick get vetted?! For fuck's sake! First of all, the girlfriend has a 5 year old daughter, Maisie, with whom the main spook (honestly, I can't even be bothered learning these fools' names) has developed a close relationship. Yeah, that's great. Whatever.
First of all, when the girlfriend starts freaking out and is all "Oh My God, I can't believe you didn't trust me holy moly why didn't you tell me everything all you've ever said is a lie this is about trust blah blah blah," I was like HO, SIT DOWN. It's not like we're talking about his not telling you about that trip to Cancun in '95 where he and his best friend got like, totally loaded on Coronas and "wrestled," ok? He's a fucking spy. That shit is supposed to be secret! That's the nature of the fucking business! He should have trusted you why? Look at how you're acting now! Then, it's all "what's your real name I can't believe you've been lying to me all this time you have to tell Maisie the truth she deserves to know." Now, I've moved past HO, SIT DOWN and have started yelling BITCH, PLEASE. Good thing I'm offering 'em half price. Your five year old needs to know that the dude you've been screwing is a spy? In what world is that a wise move? This is not like telling the kid that Santa must have just run out of time before hitting your house this year -- this is like telling your kid that Daddy is Santa. And meaning it. Fuck outta here with that noise.