Sunday, March 25, 2007

Jaw'll Are Trying to Destroy Me (part 2)


Part one of the story in the post below.



Here's the problem (or problem one): I've never had any surgical procedures before, so when the receptionist at the clinic helped me schedule the surgery, I didn't know to ask for a morning appointment. My surgery was scheduled for 3 pm, but I couldn't have anything in my stomach (not even water) for 8 hours prior. I get sick if my blood sugar gets too low, so in desperation, I had a handful of dry cheerios at 10 am on the day of my surgery. I almost didn't even cop to it. I mean, it was, like, 1 oz. of food! But I did cop to it, and the oral surgeon refused to do the procedure. Apparently, they don't put a breathing tube down your throat for these kinds of things, so if you are out and start to choke, you could die blah blah blah. Whatever. Now, I really wanted to take care of this whole thing before school started, so even though the prospect of being awake while someone prised teeth from an uncooperative jaw made me weak in the knees, I asked the surgeon if we could go ahead and do this under local anasthesia. And dudes, he straight up refused. He was like, "With what you got in there [pointing vaguely at my mouth]? No."

O...kay? Whatever. I hopped out of the chair and was about to go reschedue the damn thing. But no. Everyone in the room -- and new people keep coming -- wants to talk to me about the surgery. That's when they told me about my glass jaw and started talking to me about how there was a good chance they would break my jaw if they went after that one rogue tooth, but it definitely needed to come out, so here's how we put a titanium plate in your face and Jesus, take the wheel I almost passed out. After scaring the crap out of me, I was allowed to leave. I got a new appointment (for a month later-- right in the heart of the semester) and rolled out.

A week later, a certified letter was waiting for me down at the post office. It was from the dental clinic. There was more good news.

Part III of Jaw'll are Trying to Destroy Me coming up next!

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