Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Hot Child in the City

Blogger is being a punk. Pretend you see a picture here.

How many bloggers have used that title in the past few weeks? Too damn many! Don't they know that's my joint! Back of my neck getting dirty and gritty, indeed.

Anyway, I have been thinking about lots of stuff lately, kids, but it's been too damn hot for me to think coherently about any of it, so I decided to make this another of my celebrated blogroll posts. And by "celebrated" I mean "tried to do once before and then that post disappeared -- ain't that some shit?"

So, without further ado, here's what I've been reading on the regular lately. Sometimes I feel like these people are brothers from another mother/sisters from another mister, but then, there are also those who will say something that makes me confused as hell. For the most part, though, I love reading about people's personal lives -- because I'm nosy like that -- and I am equally fascinated with people whose opinions differ from mine so radically. But yeah, for the most part, I just cosign posts from the following bloggers-of-note:

I should mention that I don't know any of these people in RL, and as far as I know, none of them read my blog. I've commented on a few of their sites, but I'm about one thousand percent less visible in the black blogosphere than they are. I am the Homeboys in Outer Space to their Girlfriends, both in terms of mainstream popularity and visibility.

Babee Munkees and Clams: Knockout Zed is livin' just enough for the city, but is steadily trying to move up and move out. "Forthright" doesn't even begin to capture how brutally honest this dude is; I think that if I were a friend of his, I would constantly be trying to escalate a neverending battle of wits, only to wind up in the corner mumbling some version of "please, Hammer -- don't hurt 'em."

Nappy Diatribe: Daily Views, Pop Culture, Rants and News: Another blogging brother who can't/won't fake the funk. He is constantly calling somebody out -- usually hip hop fans with lamentably pedestrian tastes. Read this to see how often someone can sum up an encounter with: "I punched that fool in the throat."

The Life and Times of a Habitual Line-Stepper: I just discovered this spot, but I have to check it out at least once a day for the kid in this dude's avatar. It kills me every single time.

The Adventures of Chubby Chocolate: I can't think of a better -- or funnier -- introduction to her blog than this, which is a hypothetical diatribe from one of her The Adventures of Chubby Chocolate: BAD FENCES">neighbors. So good. As corny as it sounds, I love how free-spririted CC is. Plus, I can empathize with parents/parent's friends wanting to know if you've decided to "go gay" because you're not married by the ripe old age of 30.

Caterpillar to Butterfly: Come on: y'all know that I've got an irrational love for black Brits. This chick is a journalist and runner and is pretty fierce. The post about her grandmother and her pancake makeup were priceless.

She's Just Not Feeling You: A thing of beauty. Check her recent posts on conforming in corporate America (another topic that the site I plug below does extremely well) and the whole "Sam and Becky" series. So good. So wise, sista.

Cocoa Girl on the Job: I didn't know that Cocoa was a midwestern transplant (in fact, I think she's from MN. And since there aren't but 10 of us in the state at one time, I wonder if I ever knew her during my first tenure here on the tundra) because her NY game is so tight. As George Michael would say (although given his recent remarks about his cruising arrest, I don't think we should listen to him anymore), Cocoa is "absolutely flawless."

*interestingly, I commented on her site today, because I disagreed with certain statements that were getting used. But see?! That's what I'm talking about: grown folks talking! For some reason, I love getting involved in these kinds of discussions internetically (I know that's not a word, so don't even trip); in RL I'd just yell until everyone agreed with me!

Crunk and Disorderly: I just...I can't...I love this site so cotdamn much I can't even explain it. Even when the comment section gets overrun by 14 year old knucklehead stans, Fresh (owner and proprietor) keeps things rolling with the best in celebrity gossip and talk. I am at this site daily/hourly/every ten minutes. Fergus knows what I am talking about.

Fun fact! My first troll (see previous post) found me through C&D! Hey, bitch!

It's Like Butta, Baby: not only is she stunning, she's a fierce editor and an excellent writer. Plus, she's got freckles. I love black people with freckles. She's got a fantastic sequence of links, and if it weren't for her, I wouldn't know that B.E.T. Uncut was no longer with us.

And finally, the WCBH: The West Coast Blogging Hotties are, as a group, some of the most consistently hilarious, thought-provoking, pop culture-savvy, reppin' for the people folks I've found in the past year. I am incredibly envious of a couple of them (Supa Sister, Sangin' Diva, and Tia Style) all of whom are around my age --maybe a few years older/younger -- but whose lives are incomparably cooler than mine. Tia, for instance, is responsible for this.

That should be more than enough to get you started. Next week: how Four Four changed my life!

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

For the Record

This picture is the funniest motherfucking thing I've ever seen. If they make these...hand puppet whatevers in brown skin tones, I am ordering them shits and then getting pregnant yesterday.

And speaking of getting pregnant and other drastic body changes that make you feel like shit in the summertime, I quit smoking again. As you may or may not know -- and may or may not care -- I quit last year around this time (16 July 2005, to be precise) and my lazyass bitchass nodisciplineass didn't even make it a full year without those cancer sticks, y'all. In my defense: my defense. Literally. I had to finish a dissertation and defend it, bitches. For the prosecution: life itself, which sucks its teeth, rolls its eyes, and mumbles, "suck it up, ho. I'm hard now, I was hard yesterday, and I'll be hard tomorrow. Don't walk with a crutch that will wind up tripping you."

I still have not found a [semi][permanent] place to live. I've been cohabiting with the boys now for about...4 months? It's ridiculous. The other day, I climbed out of [what is not] my bed and walked straight into a wall of "Check Yourself." I was like, "what in the fuck am I still doing here?! This is not my house!" Of course, I don't have a house. Because I never have time to go look for one. Nevertheless, I am on a mission. New digs by August, yo. Yeah, I said August. Can you believe that's not even a full month away, now? Where did my summer go? And where's the summer body I promised myself?

And speaking of summer bodies, the only other thing you need to know is that I've come over all Ripley (Ellen Ripley that is, not The Talented Mr.)
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and have made some promises to myself that involve being more powerful, more fierce, more confrontational, and more indestructible through the end of 2006. Because you remember the winning motto of the year, right? Actually, I don't either. But let's pretend that the winning motto is: Suck No Dicks in 2006. I'm obviously talking metaphorical dicks here, kids. You can suck all the literal penii you can fit in your ...ok, "going Ripley" is also going to mean no more stupidass jokes. So I'm not even going to finish what I was going to say.

on edit: I just got my first trolling anonymous message! Bitches, I've arrived!