Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Sista Big Bones

Remember when that guy tried to holla at me on the bus by telling me that I looked like a "thicker Mary J. Blige"? And I was like, brother, how in the fuck is that a compliment?

I have had my share of backofthebus proposals, from the guy who jerked off in the seat in front of me to the guy who jerked off in the seat across from me to the guy who grabbed my ass as I got up to disembark to the...well, you get the point. But today's winner of the "Boldest Nucca" award goes to the ballsy fool at the Chicago-Lake transit station. The bus I was riding downtown had stopped to pick up and discharge passengers, and this joker tapped on my window and smiled at me and then motioned for me to get off the bus -- presumably so that he could continue his wooing. Ain't that some shit? I'm going somewhere, and I'm pissed off already because I'm taking the damn bus to get there, but I'm supposed to stop what I'm doing so that you can...what? And it wasn't a good-natured kind of "hey, pretty lady! Why don't step off the bus so I can talk to you?" kind of gesture; it was astrident kind of "GET OFF THE BUS" kind of wave. It was like someone telling you to pull your wallet out of your purse so that they can rob you more easily.

And finally, I'm under no delusions (I think) about my hotness or lack thereof, but seriously. When a dude who looks like that thinks that he can compel me to get off the bus by sheer will alone, that is the day I give up on life.

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