Sunday, April 09, 2006

The Good, The Bad, and The Trife

1. Dorthe damntrollbaby Troeften --- THE GOOD!

This picayune little hotstepper waded through a very, very "dirty" version of the American body culture chapter (if you don't know what I'm talking about by now, it is far too late to get started. Dammit, I'm turning this thing in on Friday, asshole!) and offered some incredibly useful commentary. This is all the more noteworthy given Trollbaby Troeften's recent successful defense. Trust me, people: if and when I walk out of that dissertation defense with a newly-minted degree in my grubby hands, I'm shaking the dust from this place off my cloak and getting up outta here. I don't have the kind of patience or generosity it takes to give a crap about someone else's dissertation. I barely give a crap about mine. So, for being a better person than I am in all ways except one (I have a half-assed blog! Beat that!), you get the coveted photo spot in today's blog post. I couldn't find a picture of you, so I found a picture of some other "Dorthe" out there. It makes me laugh. As do you.

2. My mothereffing broke-down, cracked-up, baked bean teeth -- THE BAD!

Years of going without dental insurance have finally caught up with me, my lovelies. They look all right, but beneath that [reasonably] white exterior lies painful, worrying trouble. I've been having difficulties with one or two teeth on the left side for a little while now, but never had the chance to go take care of it...because you know what makes health problems go away? Ignoring them. Anyway, there is something seriously, seriously wrong with those teeth now. I can't chew on that side anymore; in fact, that whole side of my face hurts when I eat. On the up side, I will be eating a lot less until this is resolved. Weight loss through excruciating mouth pain!

3. Mark howcouldyouletmedownthisway Lamarr -- THE TRIFE!

Apparently, Mark Lamarr has lost his damn mind. Now, he had been bumped off the list of my British boyfriends for Chiwetel Ejifor a couple of months ago when I finally got around to watching Serenity, but still. Dang, Mark!

Not the Lamarr-ying Kind

He shares the Most Odious And Unfunny 'Comedian' In Britain trophy with David Walliams. It can only be ankle-faced slick-haired unlaugh Mark Lamarr.

When he was on the Shooting Stars tour, he developed a serious crush on one of the young female stage management crew.

One evening before the show, she had to up to his dressing room. She walked in to find him sat stroking his erect c*ck, which was sticking out of his fly.

He said, "When are you gonna sit on this, then?"

She did.

A girl at a messageboard I frequent posted that information because she knows that love[d] Mark Lamarr's chain-smoking ass.

Listen, I can handle someone being sleazy. And I for damn sure can handle someone being kinky. But I can not handle someone being ridicudamnlous. I don't care how much I like someone -- if I walk into a room where they are sitting around polishing the chrome, I'm going to kick it and run.


thptpth said...

Mmmmmmm...Chiwetel Ejifor....alhgalghalghalgha...

Did you see Dirty Pretty Things? Not that it was like a big romantic movie or anything (inadvertent organ donation, anyone?), but man is he hot.

zach said...

First the eyes, now the teeth - we gotta get you insured before your hearing goes. I hope the tooth thing is ok. Not to scare you, but when I had a similar issue, it ended up in root canal territory, which did nothing to abate my hatred of the dentist chair let me tell you.

Speaking of the dentist chair, you've handed in your dissertation by now, right? You said Friday? If so, congrats! It's done! You're almost there! Yay!!

Adams said...

Thanks! Yeah, I turned it in, but I had printing/binding problems and now the images I scanned are not saving correctly and the introduction is twice its required size but only contains half the required information, so guess what? I have more work to do before the defense! Which is May 11, by the way. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy!

zach said...

WHOO-HOO! Not about the problems, of course, but about the turning in of your thesis!!! And those problems take what, like a few hours to fix? Where have you been the rest of the time? I want, no, demand to read a new blog entry! Unless, you know, you're filthy stinking drunk in celebration. I would support that.

VanDyke said...

By the way, the hearing went months ago. As did the bladder control.