Sunday, March 26, 2006

Illuminated Texts


Remember our conversation of a few weeks ago, in which I told you tired motherfuckas to get in line and start acting right, in the hopes of being added to the list of luminaries in my dissertation acknowledgments?! Well, check this out: I just peeped my own name in someone's list of "these worthie folke tryed and true." Can you believe that? Ha! In your faces! In! Your! Faces!

FYI, the project I'm being credited with helping shepherd to completion belongs to the amazing ass Marcela Kostihova, whose thesis, entitled Political Bardolatries: Shakespeare Appropriations in the Post-socialist Czech Republic, benefited in no discernable way from my tired, trite, and trivial comments. But bless her heart: I bet sweet old Marcela included me because she didn't want my name to be the only one left out (we were in a dissertation seminar together in the spring of '03. That's right. I said '03).

In other news, I see that some shysters and hucksters are still employing the ol' Courier New Gambit, in which you [exponentially] increase your page count by printing your work in some version of the Courier font, rather than the more traditional Times New Roman. If this is not making any sense to you, you have either never been the sort of student who cheated in this way (and bravo to your overachieving ass, Tracey Flick) or you have been out of school for so long you didn't know that the Microsoft Office suite has more than one publishable font. To wit: my dissertation is currently about 154 pages in TNR; in Courier New I'm cracking two volumes with a weighty 220. That's a tome, losers. That's a magnum opus. That's cheating like whoa.

Guess who's seriously thinking about it?


zach said...

Ah yes. And you know what I learned at Yale? Put the whole damn thing in Courier Bold and you've got yourself War and Peace with the difference in font barely noticeable on the printed page.

thptpth said...

I always used to tell my students in the handout sheet on their paper assignments not to try any of that font-changing, margin-enlargin' shit. That I could spot it from a mile away. And STILL! STILL!

Kids these days.

Anonymous said...

Why don't you use 16 pt italic and bold. And underlined!! that would be cool! T